Inner Honesty

"Inner Honesty" Seminar

If you tell a modern person that tired old line "just be yourself"—they'll start frantically searching for the right, appropriate "Self" to pick.

In most cases, a person chooses between two versions of "I":

The First I—also known as the social I—is a learned model, trained by society. Here, a person chooses adaptive behavior that's expected of them and won't get them punished.

The Second I—also known as the invented I—is a model the person wants to pit against societal pressure. Usually this is protest behavior: society expects one thing, so the person deliberately demonstrates the opposite, creating an illusion of freedom and authenticity.

Of course, there's a third option—the real I—the natural extension of your destiny.

But for most people, it's locked deep in the subconscious under heavy guard by a blocking system. It seems like if you remove the lock and let the real I out, some nightmarish, uncontrollable wildness will break free—so it's better to keep "holding yourself together."

The result? A puzzle: a person fears who they could become because they don't know who they are.

And even when such a person sincerely tries to speak from the heart and put their hand over it—they run into body armor made of a thousand protective layers that have grown on so tight they leave no chance of seeing their own truth. Even when alone with themselves.

The modern personality is so skillfully cut off from itself that it's perfectly logical to ask: "Who am I?" "Am I even moving in the right direction?" And it's a major success in personal development if these questions even arise.

Oleksiy Arestovych on the Seminar:

Life in society technically requires lying to yourself a lot about the true state of things—otherwise your social connections will seriously suffer and you'll have to become a freak and a marginal. Today, the breakdown of feedback from yourself has become a cultural tradition.

Body-oriented therapists know that an ordinary person can't even describe what they feel at the level of the physical body—and that's the most basic level!

What can we say about things like feedback from your own life? Right direction or wrong? This way or not? Meaningful or boring? Fulfilling or wasted?

"Lying to Yourself" Breaks Down into Four Types:

1. Direct lies—conscious distortion of Actuality through thoughts and words. This is the most "innocent" lie; here a person is just trying to indulge themselves on operational matters.
2. Lies of omission—when a person approaches a fence inside themselves with a sign that says "don't climb, I'll kill you," and walks around territory they should have visited long ago. This is usually where the truth about serious internal conflicts and misalignments with oneself hides; bitter truths about yourself and the world that a person doesn't want to admit to themselves, because it would require substantial restructuring of an already established life.
3. Lies of ignorance—when a person doesn't even suspect the existence of a sacred kingdom within themselves and walks past the blind spot. This is usually where the most precious and greatest treasures are kept—things like an unfulfilled life mission, broken promises to yourself, dreams you've betrayed, unrealized talents, and the Main Fears before which a person stands like Bilbo before the dragon—if they're lucky.
4. The worst type of lie—lies of intention. This is the main problem; and its consequences are so horrifying that the previous three types of lies are merely consequences of this fourth one.

You need to learn to work with intention.

The first rule of intention states that attention is always (!) directed somewhere, even if you're temporarily unconscious (for example, sleeping). In this regard, I have a question for you, esteemed reader: Are you aware of where your attention is directed right now? And every single time?

This is the lie of intention. A lie of intention is when consciousness isn't aware of what it's doing. As a result, its resources get spent in the interests of whoever captures its attention.

The general situation is this—if a person manages to carry 1% of their attention past the various predators and parasites dragging their attention away, consider yourself dealing with a highly developed type who's in good control of themselves. In all other cases, the situation is far more pitiful.

In the "Inner Honesty" seminar, we'll try to master the principles of restoring the broken feedback loop from yourself to your life. We'll engage in counter-cultural work—we'll try not to lie.